The Misadventures of Riley and Rill
by Asmodeus1389
Summary: The characters created on a caffiene high are back, fighting not so odd odds, creating formerly nonexisitent disasters, and being generally insulting nonheroes in every other way.
1. This Might Work

The Misadventures of Riley and Rill

Chapter One: This _might_ Work

* * *

"This _might_ work," Rill said. His experiment that would either make or break his career as the Shifter's Head Engineer was finally ready. He pulled the rope and watched his dreams sizzle and die.

"Well it might have worked…if your intent was to drench Entia," Wryly, his unicorn said riley.

Rill smirked as he turned to face Riley. He wasn't quite sure how the unicorn got up to roof, but he was ready to kill the obstinate, four-legged beast. "Wryly!" He gritted through clenched teeth.

"No, Riley."

"That's what I said."

"Nooooo. You said wryly."

"Yeah. Wryly."

"There's a difference," Riley began, flicking his tail back and forth. "One starts with an R, the other with a W."

"Oh?"

"Look it up."

Rill frowned, but he pulled out the Webster's Unabridged Dictionary that just happened to be in his back pocket. "Let's see. R-i-ley," he said, drawing out the syllables. Riley rolled his eyes, but Rill was too busy trying to find the word in the dictionary to notice. "Riley. R-I-L- Ah! Here." Rill read: "Riley, noun, a rather uppity shadow unicorn who likes to say things wryly. SEE WRYLY."

"Good," Riley said, "now the other one."

Sticking his tongue between his teeth, Rill flipped to the W section. "Wryly, adverb, a way of saying something; a tone commonly taken on by Shadow Unicorns. SEE RILEY."

Rill looked up. "Hey, they're cinnamons."

"Synonyms."

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"No, you said cinnamon, with a C. You meant synonym, with an S."

"Whatever."

"Look it up."


	2. Double Trouble

The Misadventures of Riley and Rill

Chapter Two: Double Trouble

* * *

Rill looked about nervously for a way off the roof. What he wanted to do was get out of there _now_ before anyoneshowed up. When no way revealed itself, Rill turned to Riley. "How did you get up on the roof anyhow?"

Riley looked confused. "Roof? I'm not on the top of your mouth."

"No! Roof, as in the top of the building!"

"But I'm not building anything."

"Riley, stop being difficult. I'm trying to escape."

Riley stopped looking confused. "Well, you don't have to worry about that," he said smiling, "It's impossible to escape from the Fiery Fields."

Rill was doing a slow boil. "Riley, I'm trying really hard to keep my temper in check – "

"Why do you have to pay it?"

"Arghhhh!" Rill could almost hear the Shifter's footsteps up the spiral staircase that lead to the roof. He was so toast. Except he was hardly recognizable as bread. He was more that burned, blackened charcoal that emerges when you set the toaster on 'DARK' and accidentally push the bread down twice. Yes, Rill was definitely toasted way beyond toast at moment, and there wasn't any butter in sight. Only a garbage can.

Fortunately for Rill, but unfortunately for his ears, the imagined footsteps were suddenly out-sounded by the bell that was set on the roof. GONG! GONG! GONG! GONG!

Rill clapped his hands over his ears as he yelled out to Riley. "Why is that ---- bell ringing?"

Riley confusement became even more apparent as he shouted back to Rill: "Your ring isn't making any noise. That's just the bell that started gonging for no apparent reason whatsoever!"

Rill uncovered his ears as the bell stopped ringing. "Hey – "

"Is for unicorns-" Rill sent a meaningful glare towards Riley. Sadly though, Riley was a Shadow Unicorn and either couldn't read the message sent, or else he didn't care.

"Why aren't there anymore footsteps?"


	3. The Rider and Rawlyk and Riley

The Misadventures of Riley and Rill

Chapter Three: The Rider and Rawlyk

* * *

The Shifter's foot steps had stopped for a bad (or good, depending upon your point of view) reason. The reason was that it hadn't been Entia's footsteps at all. Rather, they were The Shadow Rider's footsteps. Who, in fact, was standing at the opening of the front door glaring at Rill (who couldn't actually see his eyes underneath the cloak, but he could certainly feel them) and looking for the entire world like he was the most evil being in existence. Which might have something to it, Rill reflected sourly.

The Shadow Rider in question grabbed Rill by the collar and pushed him down the staircase. Lucky for Rill, the staircase in question was a tight spiral, and therefore Rill only fell down six or a half dozen of stairs. The Shadow Rider swept by with quick soldierly steps, leaving Rill wondering where The Shadow Rider had gotten a broom. Riley followed The Shadow Rider down the stairs, using little short hop-skips that seemed impossible given a unicorn's anatomy. However, they did answer the omnipresent question of "How _did_ that unicorn get up on the roof, anyway?"

Rill dragged himself to his feet, wincing at the thought that tomorrow Rill would look more like a Wind or Water unicorn than an actual human being. The Shadow Rider had gotten really far ahead; in fact, Rill and Riley couldn't see him anymore. The pair of miscreants glanced at each other and decided to try their luck in a country far, far away (which is _always_ very conveniently located in any fairy tale book, although much harder to reach in real life). They had just reached the third floor and were sneaking down the hallway when a sword point made itself known in the hollow of Rill's back. If the sword had been just a little blunter, Rill would have asked whoever was behind him if he would mind starching that unreachable spot in between his shoulder blades. As it was, Rill didn't think that was a very good idea, especially when the owner of the sword decided to speak.

"Well, well, well. What have we here? You boys wouldn't be trying to escape, now would you?"

Rill gulped. Rawlyk. Why did it have to be Rawlyk? Probably the worst of all people Rill could have been captured by, Captain Rawlyk was the second-in-command of the Shadow Army, second only to The Shadow Rider himself. (And as everyone knows, you don't get to be second-in-command of the Army by waiting for a promotion. Rather, you kill the man who has the job you want. Part of the reason Rill went into engineering was because no one wants to be an engineer. It has an even lower turnover rates then stable care, read: Stall Mucker, does. Actually, no one _ever_ tried to go after the job of Head of Army, which is The Shadow Rider's position, proving that, contrary to popular belief, most shadow riders have some sense in their heads.)

Rawlyk marched Rill and Riley down the hallway and subsequent stairs. They were passing the large ornate doorway that marked the entrance to Lord Entia's quarters when the world erupted into flame.


	4. Literally Taken

The Misadventures of Riley and Rill

Chapter Four: Literally Taken

* * *

Generally that is merely a poetic way of saying that a bomb exploded and all hell broke loose. As it is, gunpowder is only known in the lands to the far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far East (or maybe just West) and they only use it for making pretty pictures in the sky and can't possibly see it as a method of warfare and killing people, which coincidentally, are both the same thing. Also, hell couldn't break loose because they, being the trio in the hallway, were already in it. Instead, in this sense the phrase "the world erupted into flame" should not be taken in the poetic sense. Rather, an eruption of flame, albeit a small one, did, in fact, take place.

The Shadow Rider stumbled out of the now-non-existent doorway and furiously stomped out a few flames that licked his cloak with their long orangey tongues so reminiscent of those belonging to wet dogs with bad breath. After his hem was successfully extinguished, The Shadow Rider turned his attention to the small bonfire that was starting to blossom on his cape like daffodils in May, or would blossom if there were actually flowers in the Fiery Fields.

Rawlyk raised an eyebrow at his black and fiery caped commander. He spoke out in the drawl he reserved seemed to reserve especially for superiors. "Awl right thar, sah?"

"Well, it gives new meaning to an explosive temper. Never saw that one coming."

Rawlyk gazed vaguely at The Shadow Rider's cape. "Apparently sah." He pronounced it 'Ah-par-ANT-ly', as if every vowel was supposed to be long. It made Rill grind his teeth in agony. Bad grammar got on his nerves like a one ton steel brick on an egg: not pretty and really smelly after a few days.

The Shadow Rider gestured to Riley and Rill. "After you."

Rill gulped, as he often did when he was nervous and walked through the door. Or more actually, Rill was painfully pushed through the still smoldering doorframe by none other than Riley.

The Shifter Entia was in a form that might have once upon a time (and in a galaxy far far away) been considered human. Note how might is the key word in that sentence. Now the creature looked like evil incarnate, which Rill reflected might have something in it. Its skin was cindered black and it had large bat wings that made the creature look like a vampire from the stories told on the Night of the Shifter's Moon. Who knows? Maybe it was. All stories have basis in fact, no matter how unlikely Mary-Sues (and Larry Stus for that matter) seem.

The vampiredemonthingthatwasactuallyEntia turned to glare at Rill. Rill saw his life flash before his eyes, leaving him wondering who had invented the rechargeable-flash-one-time-use-camera, much less light bulbs. The vampiredemonthingthatwasactuallyEntia went on a long tirade of respecting authority, those with power than you, and those who can kill, which, by Rill's estimation, lasted close to an hour. The pictures of his life were slowly down and had almost reached that fateful bucket of water. For a moment Rill was amazed that it had taken so long, but then, twenty years would probably take more than twenty seconds to recap, so then he wasn't very surprised.

* * *

Outside a pair of riders was talking.

"Thanks for the bell by the way."

"No problem. But why?"

The cloaked figure with the cindered hem glanced sideways at the door. "I think it might be amusing. If nothing else, he'll come back a decent engineer at least."

* * *

When the vampiredemonthingthatwasactuallyEntia seemed to be slowing down, Rill dared to open his eyes again. Unfortunately, the vampiredemonthingthatwasactuallyEntia wasn't finished quite yet.

"………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Luckily for you, your commander suggested that you be put to more useful work than being hung. Therefore, I'm sending you on a mission."

Rill heard Riley's jaw drop and grimaced at the sight of the lower jaw on the floor. Rill himself had eyes as big around ponds, and was having quite a hard time staring around the Lilly pads and frogs.

"W-wa-wha-what mission?" Rill though for a moment. "I have a commander who likes me that much?"

The vampiredemonthingthatwasactuallyEntia sneered (not that its face changed very much from its original position) at Rill. "Apparently so. But I have a little job for you."

"Y-yes?"

The vampiredemonthingthatwasactuallyEntia walked to the window that overshadowed the training fields. "You have heard of Castle Sulach? And the Sword?"

After registering that the sword did indeed have a capital S on it, Rill though harder than he has for a while. "Just legends, my Lord?" Rill paled under the vampiredemonthingthatwasactuallyEntia's gaze. "I guess not?"

The vampiredemonthingthatwasactuallyEntiastared daggers at Rill and Riley; the former ducked and the later preformed some sort of pirouette that seemed anatomically impossible. The daggers thudded uselessly into the wall behind them.

"Bring me the Sword of Balinor. And get out of my sight!"


	5. Numbered Foxes

The Misadventures of Riley and Rill

Chapter Five: Numbered Foxes

* * *

"This is not good." Rill moaned as he tacked up Riley. "My days are numbered."

Riley glanced at the calendar that was tacked (but not tacked up) by his stall. He frowned. "They are all numbered, have been, and will be."

Rill rolled his eyes and watched the barn cat chase after them. "You know what I meant. And stop puffing out your stomach like that. I can't get the girth done up all nice and tight."

"You can't get the girth done up tight."

"That's the point!" Riley snapped at Rill.

"No, that's my horn." Rill stared at the sharpened piece of iron hovering in front of his face and decided that the girth was tight enough. He walked toward the edge of the Fiery Fields, Riley following reluctantly behind. Rill might have come from beyond the mountains, but Riley had not.

Rill was muttering to himself. "Where's that marker? It should be around here somewhere….Aha, there we go. Riley, don't go outside the range of these markers, unless you don't value your hooves. Whoever though of these markers is a genius." (Interestingly enough, had Riley known who had thought of the markers, he wouldn't have said that.)

The troublesome duo started out across the band of fire. They trudged across the molten fields, relying on the markers to avoid sink patches and open flames. Rill saw something that made him do a double take, and Riley followed his line of sight. The black unicorn stared for a moment. Then nudged Rill.

"What're you looking at?"

Rill jumped. "Oh, just though I saw something alive out there."

Riley glanced back at the spot he had been staring at. "The Shadow Rider probably set something loose for the wolves to practice on."

Rill shuddered visibly. He hated wolves, especially the big northern brutes that The Shadow Rider had brought back from one of his many trips to…. wherever it was that he went. Those things were monsters and would kill you soon as look at you. And the big alpha male always managed to turn up at the wrong times, and stare at you with those big yellow eyes of his, as if he waiting for you to drop dead. Rill shuddered again. He didn't like the thought of being so close to the wolves quarry.

"Let's get out of here, Riley."

The Shadow Unicorn followed his rider through the fire, not glancing back. The silence was broken only one other time, again by Riley. "What did The Shadow Rider set loose this time?"

Rill shrugged. "I dunno. Looked almost like a fox."


End file.
